Thursday, August 16, 2012

New Beginnings

Tonight is the last night that my whole family will be in one house for a very long time. Tomorrow starts a new chapter in my big brother, Brad's life. We are moving him down to college in Florida. Then I leave at the end of September for Mozambique. 

So many changes are happening in this families life. All for the better, of course, but change is change.  

Anyone who knows about all that Brad has been through this year, knows what a big deal it is that he's moving away. I can't even express how proud I am of him for wanting to finish school and start a new chapter in his life. Yes, I'm going to miss him like crazy but I know without a doubt this is what God has for him for this season. He has come so far in such a short amount of time. He's a living miracle! 

After we move brad into school, we will be taking our last family vacation until I get back from Africa. Theme parks, water parks, the beach.... All in the Florida sunshine:)  can't wait to have this quality time with them before I leave. 

Also, tonight I went to my friend Brittney's house who just got back from harvest school, to hear stories and get advice on what I should and shouldn't do when I go to harvest school. It was so good to see her again and to hear all about what god did in her and how she's stepping into her new destiny. It made me so much more excited to go and see what god is going to do in me.

This is all so new to me. Dealing with plane tickets, visas, raising support, leaving family, and all the other tiny details that have to be worked out. But in this whole time of preparation, God has created new friendships, taught me how to rest in Him and feel peace and let go of myself. 

I still have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, but I don't have to. I just have to trust Him with the details and Believe that He will work everything out. I'm so excited for these next few weeks of preparation and rest, and then finally being back in Mozambique! 

God has been doing so much in me lately and teaching me a lot. I feel like I'm ready to step into this new season and new chapter. While its all still pretty scary and nerve racking, I'm super excited to see what all God has in store. 

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Living Sacrifice. For Real.

Today I've been feeling super overwhelmed with Harvest School and Tete plans. I'm leaving home for 5 months and I've never been away from home for more that 3 weeks. This is crazy. 

So basically, I woke up freaking out about how long I'll be gone and how fast my departure date is coming up. Then, I went to babysit all day. Then I came home and cried on the couch with my mom for a long time and prayed and worshiped. My mom is amazing. Seriously. She will lift me up in prayer even when I don't think I need it. I love it. After our little Jesus time/sob fest we took a walk outside to clear our heads. 

One thing that we discovered on our walk was that this is all part of the process. A big theme in my life recently has been that God wants me to be a LIVING SACRIFICE for Him. I thought that's how I have been living, until I started planning this trip. This is a huge step in letting myself go. I'm giving up 5 months of my life to follow Jesus' lead. I'm giving up my family, my friends, all of the holidays and my birthday with my family, comfort, air conditioning, constant communication online and on my phone, southern food, my bed, sweet tea, and so much more. But thats the whole point! 

He is allowing me to die to myself. When there is a death in the family, there is always a mourning time. I think that's what I'm going through right now. I've been so worried and teary the past few days. This is God allowing myself to die so that He can come in and be in control of EVERYTHING. That's the LIVING part of the sacrifice. It's HIM ALIVE inside of me! I just need to stop trying to figure it all out and let Him take care of it, while still listening to Him for what I need to be doing. 

I've lived my whole life in a bubble. It's time to break out and follow Him. How could anything bad happen to me? I'm sitting in the palm of my Papa's hand! He's already provided SO many of the finances. I'm so blown away! So, why wouldn't He take care of flights, visa, communication, relationships, and everything else?! 

Keeping my eyes focused on His face and His heart and plan for me. I'm called to lay myself down and let Him take over. So that's what I'm going to do. Prayers are appreciated:)